03.02.07
I think you can probably tell a lot about a person by what is taped up on their office door, cubicle, etc. And because I want you to know everything about me, I have lovingly photographed the objects that grace my door… which as my employees will tell you, is open most all of the time.
Above is an early work of art by daughter, Molly. As all moms and dads do, I collect my kid’s artwork. And as a woman with “difficult-I-mean-fabulous” hair, I am drawn to Hair Goddess images. I love this collage… it’s visually gorgeous, the colors are great… I love the brown paper skin against the fluorescents and metallics, and I think this is a smashing hairdo. Does anyone know a good colorist?
But there are also scary things on my door, like this image, courtesy of my dear staff who are always looking out for my interests with regard to finding Mr. Right. The post-it asks: Jodi, wanna go on a date with me? There are check boxes for Yes and No. As you can see, I have not decided and still need a little time to think about it.
I love this portrait of me by Molly. The likeness is uncanny and it lets everyone know that this is the Queen’s office.
designfarm proudly accepts Visa and MasterCard for your shopping convenience.
I saved the best for last. This very scientific document depicts an invention by Molly: The Chicken Powered Skateboard. Is my kid a genius or WHAT??!! BTW, the chicken’s name is Elvis (with a creative spelling) and if you look closely you will see that he sports quite a fabulous pompador hairstyle.
Maybe Elvis Chicken would like to meet Sylvia! (see January.) Maybe Molly is going to be a hairstylist? Maybe Jodi needs some more mature office decor. Nah.
Subject: Modern Art, Molly's Mom, They Call It Work
03.02.07
For those of you have been reading this blog, you know that as Vessel of the Lord I am about to come into a large sum of money. $26.7 million to be exact.
And that, my friends, is a whole lotta beads. Especially when (professional and/or hopelessly addicted thrifter that I am), many of the very best beads in the world can be had for pennies on the dollah.
The two collections pictured above and below were scored last week and this week and cost under $10 (total) for each group. Above includes a really gorgeous looong strand of either wooden or carved seeds (the ends are very strange), a nice string of black glass rosary beads, and two yummy pairs of beaded earrings. The clusters are probably 50’s (love that palette), the hot pink dangles are 60’s. Just amazing.
This group includes some early plastic candy-ish orange beads, probably lucite, but with incredible opaque creamy swirled inclusions, modern but still useful tiny rosary pearls, and a really yummy strand of mixed stuff including deep emerald glass crystal cut beads and what is known as “sugar” beads (those bumpy ones). I’m loving yellow right now, as well as turquoise… excellent score, eh?
Subject: I Heart Shopping, They Call It Work
03.02.07
When I stumbled to my computer this morning, pre-coffee, can you imagine just how very excited I was to find the above-referenced email from one Agnes Samuel there in my inbox? If you can’t, let me tell you, I was soooo happy.
I know this will come as a surprise to some of you out there who don’t know any people of the Jewish faith… but we are not a “Messianic” group. Yes, this means we really do not accept Jesus as The Savior, or the son of God, or anything, and really, please stop wasting your valuable prayers on us; it’s not going to change our minds. We are a stubborn people!
Some would say we are a patient people. See, while most of you are awaiting your second helping of Messianic pie, we await our first. Some of us are more bogged down by this whole waiting-for-the-Messiah-thing than others, and I admit to not being one (of the bogged).
That said, imagine my surprise and delight to find this email (amongst all that Satanic porn spam), as titled above: The Lord Has Chossen You as a Vessel. I hadn’t had my jolt of java yet, so I had to do a bleary-eyed double take… but yes, it appeared that I had indeed been selected. To be. The Lord’s Vessel!!!!!!!! Holy, um, mother of GOD! SHUT UP!!!! Me? Really? Are you, like, yanking my Jewish chain or something?
While I was envisioning a night of hot hot sex with the Lord (you know, so I could be the Vessel and my people could finally be alleviated of all this Messiah stress), I clicked open the mail to get the deets. For example, what would the Lord prefer me to be wearing on this night of our passionate love, etc? Or (and I’m crossing my fingers, please Lord say it ain’t so) is it going to be one of those boring immaculate conceptions? BUMMER!
But wait, this had nothing to do with sex or the messiah at all! Turns out, Agnes (of God? With such spelling issues?) it seems, only wished for me (a God-fearing Christian or maybe even a Moslem [sic]) to accept a tidy sum of $27.6 million dollars which her late husband has somehow managed to get hopelessly tied-up with “the Security & Finance company.” She is indeed ready to deposit this sum into my bank account and only awaits hearing back from me with my account info.
Sex be damned, I’ll take the money! And with that, I bid you adieu, as I must hurry and write to Agnes before she makes this incredible offer available to some other Vessel.
Who knew getting rich could be so easy?!
BTW, as Vessel of the Lord, I shall be hiring a secretary who will answer all of your emails concerning the above Blessing.
Thank you.
And SHUT UP!!!
Subject: Uncategorizable
